What's healing us

is the flow of life!



September 2019, Wednesday 4th

1. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.

2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path. Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy - and greed stem from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.

3. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

4. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food,

give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

5. Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a community, the wilderness

or from a culture. It was not earned nor given. It is not yours.

6. Respect all things that are placed upon this earth - whether it be people or plant.

7. Honor other people's thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock

or rudely mimic them. Allow each person the right to personal expression.

8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the

universe will multiply when it returns to you.

9. All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.

10. Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit. Practice optimism.

11. Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us. They are part of your worldly family.

12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with

wisdom and life's lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow.

13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.

14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of ones will within this universe.

15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual self, Emotional self, and Physical

self - all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body to strengthen the mind.

Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

16. Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you will react.

Be responsible for your own actions.

17. Respect the privacy and personal space of others. Do not touch the personal property of others - especially sacred and religious objects. This is forbidden.

18. Be true to yourself first. You cannot nurture and help others if you cannot nurture and help yourself first.

19. Respect others religious beliefs. Do not force your belief on others.

20. Share your good fortune with others.

April 2019, Tuesday 2nd

As we approach the new moon, my card readings are all about the same subject.

We are in a period of supreme challenge for many of us!

For some, it is revelations or unexpected conflict situations in their lives, for others, irrational and sometimes violent uneases.

Be sure this storm will pass.

But what is the stake of this challenge we are living?

What the energy of life says:

" our ultimate challenge is to love, with no barrier, while respecting our integrity and what we want to see manifested in our lives."

Namaste 🙏💚🙏

March 2019, Saturday 23rd

It's the vital energy itself that calls to re-harmonization,

to recover its state of balance,

of perfect homeostasis.

Nothing else.

We can decline it in multiple vibration colors,

there is no less the energy of life.

The intelligence of life manifests itself this way:

without resistance, in a fluid way,

like a quiet and bright water course!

It is then able to take the orders of the body,

the healing instrument par excellence.

Who better than this cluster of density, beauty,

of compacted energy at its height,

to vibrate, shine and resonate strong enough

the explosion of joyful intensity necessary for this accomplishment?

This is the power of life.

This is the divine in our body.

This is the power of the kundalini, the manifested power of the matter.

Artwork: Hakan Hisim, serpentine apotheosis

Thursday 21st, March 2019

Astrological new year.

The sun comes in Aries where is also chiron, the healer.

It is he who will be in honor for this month to come, bathed by the imagination, the sensitivity and the vibrant intuition of the fish reinforced by Neptune and stained with love, from the affectivity of Venus.

It's a key moment where our inner demons are lit.

We can't hide them anymore or ignore them.

The fire of the aries and the light of the sun feed, sated these fumes of our being.​

It's the right time to share with you this inner self-healing journey.


This meditation is powerful and speaks to me particularly because it guides us in an inner journey that is similar to the one I live during the shamanic care, every time one of you gives me the gift to ask for my help.

"feed oneself's demons"

So when we talk about demon, it's not the devil in person or I don't know what evil spirit from I don't know where.

It's about our inner demons or our inner demon, which is nothing but the self that suffers. This part of us who suffers or who has suffered and continues to suffer, even if the story that caused this suffering is over.

This mini-us who cries, who is angry or who is afraid is us and it is therefore a part of our energy, of our being.

And this mini-us who howls inside asks for being heard, for being recognized as us and comforted, loved, fed.

Our sorrows and tantrums, once transmuted, once healed, become our forces.

The same is true for this mini-us who suffers, this inner demon.

Once soothed, once nurtured, he becomes a guide, he becomes an ally.


This meditation lasts about 35 minutes.

You will need two chairs arranged one in front of the other and you will need to get up to change seat by moments, or you can internally visualize yourself changing seat.

Get yourself some quiet time after, in a way that you can't feel in a hurry and obviously, put your phone in silence.

I wish you a beautiful journey, a beautiful healing.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions

March 2019, 17th

My drum, my ally, my love.

It is the precious organ capable of restoring harmony

between the heart of humans and the heart of the earth.

Listening to his singing, the primal energy enters into an effervescence state

and scold to the roar of the soul.

The spirit of the insouciant slides on him as far as

where he wants to lead him, inside of himself or beyond,

for his greatest good.

The drum brings energy, strength, physicality.

It restores fluidity in tormented emotional waters,

soothes the tornadoes of the mind,

regulates the bonfires of joy and of wrath,

stabilizes the earth and makes the ether sing.

His vibrations embrace life, who finds the desire to dance again.

Artwork: Flowoflife from human brain angiography

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Reiki, Ashati, lahochi and many vibration tones of the source are now

channeled to provide cares.

Many initiations, transmissions, protocols are offered, that help to feel more

trustful for those who want to help others by energy cares and are afraid

to do it wrong.

What about all those energies?

We can view this as a tree,whose every distal branches would be

a vibration tone and whose trunk would be the source.

Or let's take the example of a radio station.





Let's take numbers without considering a value scale.

There is no + or - in energy, just different natures of tone.

Let's imagine: Radio Reiki would be 90.7, radio lahochi 100.7, radio ashati

88.8., etc

In this soup of vibrations, which is the whole band of possible frequencies,

means the source, there are also our states of soul, our emotional states.

Radio Anger 89, radio joy 104.4, radio sadness 105.

And we will find the archetypes vibrations as well.

Radio inner child 103.3, radio suffering me 99.9, radio guardian angel 107.7,

radio totem animal etc

What show would you like to listen to?

The whole bandwidth, it's radio source, from 87 to 108 FM. And the source itself is the radio device.

And this set is perfect.

The source is all this.

The source is the whole thing.

It is always there, everywhere, in us and around us, from our beating heart to the other end of the universe.

She is the matrix of creation whose stem cells are in each of us.

But if I channels all these tones in one, I also take anger?

Well no, because it turns out that the source energy is non-dual. It holds in germs all the potentials of creation and is not yet tinged with them.

It is this living liquid and omniscient light whose only function is to instill the deployment of harmony. Its nature is the perfect balance in the movement of life. It restores homeostasis.

Why then go to a specific vibration frequency when you can have the source?

Because it's reassuring. It feels safer and it can be beneficial.

If it's calling you, that you feel the need to have a guideline in your care, listen to yourself. Practice will make you perfect.

If it's the source that calls you, hear its song that will guide you, with kindness and precision.

February 19, 2019

The more light there is, the more shadow there is.

You can believe you have to light the darkness to dissolve it,

Believe you have to clean it or transmute it.

But what create a shadow is the obstacle that is between it and the light.

This barrier we have erected, believing we had to protect us.

Believe we have to, believe we have to.

Do we only remember from what danger?

There is no demon.

There are only some suffering us from the past who wish to be remembered to us,

In order to be loved, accepted, recognized as being us.

Remain to warm up those icy bodies that are not foreign to us.

To let them liquefy as we comfort them,

By whispering to them tenderly: "I'm so happy to find you back".

Image: Flow of Life

Image: Lassi Rautiainen

February 4, 2019

Silence is a punishment that we inflict to ourselves,

An unfortunate conclusion echoing our own condemnation,

The one of not having been able to be stronger than our fears,

The one of not having answered the calls to love of our soul.

While all this only depends on us.

There is no obligation, nor to punish ourselves, nor to condemn ourselves.

As soon as we allow ourselves to be the architects of our own happiness,

We have the full powers on our lives.

February 2019, Tuesday the 19th

The more light there is, the more shadow there is.

You may think you have to enlighten the darkness to dissolve it,

think you have to clean it up

But what creates a shadow is the obstacle between it and the light.

That barrier we built, believing we have to protect us.

Believe to have to, believe to have to.

Do we only remember against what danger?

There's no demon.

There are only suffering us from the past who wish to be remembered,

To be loved, accepted, recognized as us.

Remains to warm those frozen bodies that aren't foreign to us.

Let them liquefy as we hug them, comfort them, as we tenderly whisper to them:

"I'm so happy to find you back".

January 2019, Saturday the 26th

Who of us never armed a wrong reason to bully his soul?

His silent screams cross space and time...

Often at night, these souls I hear them.

Behind bars of a false idea of integrity,

They're waiting for us to come and release them.

They watch helplessly the games of their executioner,

This biased spirit of principles and beliefs we built,

While the only thing they came to do here,

was to love.

Artwork: Alexandr Milov

January 2019, Friday the 25th

Every time we betray ourselves, every time we don't respect the needs of our soul,

a part of us cries.

And so we create our own inner demons of suffering,

which we transmit in various degrees to our bloodline.

The descendants, brave souls, will engage in a fight against these ghosts,

sometimes believing to be victims of dark forces attacks....

If there's anything dark, it's the silences, the lies, the unsaids.

Once enlightened, the truth frees us.

And if that's not enough, there are the shamans and all the healers of souls.


Artwork: Carlos Quevedo

January 2019, Sunday the 6th

I prepared you a sound aperitive!
As a trailer to sound journeys, let me introduce you the gong.
Pump up the volume!
Enjoy the listening 🙏💚🙏

November 2018, Thursday the 1st

Some items are calling you?

Apart from their functional or esthetic criterias, it is relevant to admit that items have a personality. Whatever item we consider, it is at least tainted by the person's energy who conceived or made it. This vibration is meaningful to you or not, resonates with your vibration or not.

Let's consider an item which is offered to you. It is enriched with the intention of the person who offers it to you. A present offered with sincerity, after several researches to find the perfect gift, really wanting to please you, will not have the same vibration as an impersonal gift, offered as a pure formality.

In the same way, an item which has already been used is charged with the previous owner's energy. Its vibratory tonality could be neutral, or charged positively or negatively, depending on this person's energy, his/her wellness state, his/her relationship to the item itself and to its usage. An item used in an anger state, or accomplishing a task lived as tough, doesn't print teh same vibration as an item used in a joyful state, or in order to accomplish an exciting work.

Example: a pickaxe used for hard labour has not the same vibration, since not the same story, as the one used by a happy gardener, imagining how delicious the tomatoes he is about planting will be.

Then come the magical items, the ones which have been programmed for a defined purpose. Almost all the handcrafted items, made with an intention, are magical. The scarf that your grand-mother knitted for you with love, to make you warm in the cold winter and to protect you from diseases, is a magical item. The macaroni necklace that the kid diligently made for the mother's day, so his mom will be happy and even more beautiful, is a magical item Those items spread love and kindness. An item made with an intention of love gives it back, radiates it.

There's only a small step between handcraft and domestic magic. This step is only about being aware of this vibratory process and to apply it voluntarily.

Then come the inhabited items. The animals remains, real person paintings or pictures, as well as the items in which a spirit has been invited, can be qualified of inhabited items. Those items do have temperamental presence which could potentially be problematic. I recommend you to not gather this type of items, as the risk is to bath yourself (or even drown yourself!) in a soup of energies which are foreign to yours. If those items are calling you, the greatest prudence is required. Are they calling you for your greatest good? There could be some special links, a kind of mutual friendliness but are the reasons behind beneficial to you?

Example: one of your "totem" animal is the eagle and you are so glad to find this nice Navajo pendant with a eagle claw, on a flea market. However, has this eagle been killed with respect? Does this precise animal spirit agree with accompanying you especially? Was this pendant around the neck of a healer or a malicious sorcerer? Is it a stolen item?

The truth is that most of the time, entities or energy-forms nestled in an item are calling you to feed from you. They can exhaust you energetically, bringing mood changes, from fatigue or heaviness, to extreme irritability or irrational depression.

Furthermore, besides this energetic vampirism, it is reasonable to consider those items like presences, I would even say like invisible friends. In the same way as human relationships, attraction and attachment to those items can simply translate a "toxic relationship". As such, they can finally be fake friends, having interest in being with you or giving you bad advices, draining and polluting you.

To sort all this out, of course, listen to yourself and the most important, be honest with yourself. You can as well consult a specialist who can tell you about your items and eventually pacify some of them.

October 2018, Monday the 22nd

Inner couple Outter couple

We all have both polarities inside us, feminine and masculine. The end of our inner conflicts requires the accomplishment of harmony between those two aspects.

For a woman, the healed masculine will allow the full expression of her freedom and creativity.

For a man, the healed feminine will bring him intuition and gentleness, getting him closer to his heart and true nature.

The path leading to this achievement is to forgive all the pains related to the opposite sex and to build a loving image of it, until being able to transcend all images, recognizing the perfection in everyone beyond appearances and judgements.

Lucidity invites us to recognize men and women differences. No superior or inferior, they are equal in essence, similar in many aspects and different in some others. The apparently opposite natural trends, righteously arranged, do perfectly complete each other like pieces of a puzzle.

A native american text :

"A woman's highest calling is to lead a man to his soul so as to unite him with the Source.

A man's highest calling is to protect a woman so she is free to walk the Earth."

This quote presents man as a protector, related to woman's need of safety and woman as a spiritual guide, as an echo to man's soul's aspiration of rising.

Feeling safe, at her place within matter, woman can manifest her openness and her infinite capability of giving life. She's not paralyzed or limited anymore cause of fear and doubt.

The man's life force, tamed and directed to his soul, make the agitation and illusory sensation of lack cease. He can channel his power toward his highest self, the pure and universal consciousness, whereas the woman can integrate its energy, the manifestation of this consciousness in density, material as well as subtle.

In this way, they both achieve stability and blooming in peace.

September 2018, Thursday the 27th

Take your personal power back with EFT

Become aware of our personal power is to switch from a victim status to an actor status, or even author, of our life.

Too often, we master ways and means in complicating our own life without any outter intervention. Our conditionings and past wounds are the cause and create inner conflicts, between what we think we should be and what we truly are.

We can feel very lonely facing our psycho-emotional twists and turns, coming to realize that our sole and worst ennemy, is ourself.

However, there are some tools enabling us to drive our vehicle in the right direction again.

Imagine you're a computer. Your fears, limiting beliefs about life, others and yourself are non desirables programs, like virus. We can install another program on this computer, a positive message which will overwrite the non desirable program. If that's not enough, we will have to uninstall, to clean the virus program before installing the new program that makes our existence easier.

Install, uninstall, reprogram, that's the power of EFT.

To try EFT is to love it!

You will find in the video below some positive affirmations to repeat out loud, with conviction. They will be way much effective if you associate them with EFT tapping points, easily findable on internet. Imagine you are injecting those messages inside yourself. You will feel the sentences/programs installing with no resistance and the ones blocking. For those ones, the corresponding virus program will need to be uninstalled with a psychological inversion EFT protocol. Enroll for a personal session to do so.

September 2018, Thursday the 20th

Healing through sound

We all have musics that make us melancholic, or even make us cry. Whereas some others make us feel like dancing, or even galvanize us litteraly.

A song, a melody, can remind to our consciousness some memories, or wake up some thoughts, generating emotions. However, there are those musics we do not associate to any memories. They arouse no specific thought and yet, they provoke an emotional response within us. Some will even generate a physical response: "wow, it gives me the shiver".

Some scientific study demonstrated that listening to a music we love generates a dopamine secretion in the brain. Funny, cocaine has an effect on those same dopaminergic receivers.

In a very down-to-earth manner, what is music but a vibration?

We hear a lot about vibrations and waves those latest decades. Micro-waves, radio waves, wifi, etc...

Sound is vibration, but of another nature. Pre-quoted vibrations are eletromagnetic, whereas sound is mechanical. It is a succession of compressions and decompressions of air, whose tone will be defined by its frequency and amplitude.

Finally, music, it's wind.

Modulated intelligent wind.

Intelligent wind.

Sounds composing a music are as many different winds that merge together and bath us in their choregraphy. So between music and us, it's first of all about physical interaction. A subtle tremor, a quivering applied to our body.

Tibetans know this concept of sound massage. That's the purpose of singing bowls.

Built of seven metals corresponding to the seven chakras, their cyclic sound due to the circular resonance provides a relaxing effect. Relaxing for the mind and the body. Anyone who got the chance to receive a sound bath with bowls will probably have experienced the mind stillness following it. Like a cerebral reset, "where is my mind".

What about singing?

The instrument, the resonance soundbox is the physical body.

The wind is modulated in an organic way, and is tainted by the singer's intention on vibratory plans.

Amazonian curanderos do program their tools with this method, inject in them the "icaro", the vibratory identity of the plant as well as its medicine. Each plant has its melody, its musical name and its function, its indication.

With no intention, in an empty mind state, a relaxed body let the energies flow freely and become a channel. By creating this space of availability, of silent void, and by opening totally, is enabled the manifestation of the soul's chant.

During modified state of consciousness, transe, the chant seems to come from my abdomen. A door, like a tunnel, an abysmal chasm from where an intrinsic and universal wisdom arises, coming from far beyond myself, from another plan of reality.

The calling comes from there!

An energy wave presents itself at that door, inflates, expands.

Irresistibly, the door surrenders and the the spirits' chanting spreads with joy.

A chant that pacifies, purifies and loves.

A chant that frees and rises.

A chant that heals.

A chant that re-tunes the worlds.

This chanting is to be listened during relaxation in loop mode. Command to all the dimensions of your being to open to this bath of vibrations and to let itself be re-harmonized by it.

August 2018, 14th

Check this out!

Online audio recording of latest lecture is now available!

Listen, like, share <3 Namaste

July 2018, Thursday the 19th

The power of attention

We are sending energy to what we are paying attention to.

Whether we like it or not, we are feeding many elements which are inside or outside us.

There's nothing better than a mental rumination to turn a simple disturbing thought into a true unbearable obsession, which will seem to totally escape from our control at the end. A small thought-form can become a great load. We feed it, we spend time and energy to peel it and analyze it from every angle. Progressively, it's turning into a plump inner demon who corrupts our well-being and outshine us.

A thought generating no emotion, a neutral thought, is easy to let go. While the disturbing thought is directly or indirectly connected to a fear within us.

A small repetitive thought can be defeated by changing oneself's thought, feeding something else. A thought gaining strenght will require a salutary step back within oneself, necessary to recognize each beginning of this process and to decide to consciously turn our attention on something else. The resolution to cease this infernal loop, to go forward, is then indispensabe.

This inner gymnastic is to maintain the focus on a certain duration, in the same measure as the rumination has been fed.

That's a similar process with our disturbing emotions. With our attention, we feed them. Question will be then of bringing inside oneself a more pleasant emotion, an emotion to focus our attention on.

And we feed with our attention the outside elements. Talking to plants is recognized as beneficial for their growth. Dedicate our time and kind listening to others support them.

We do send energy to our peers when we are paying attention to them. Take care of not constantly emptying ourselves and getting some rest. For our own balance, there's a right time to recharge.

Fortunately, it has not to be through a direct energy exchange with others. Focus our attention on ourselves, on our perception, on our body. Feed ourselves. Nature, food, as well as everything making us feeling joy, are great leverage to recharge.

Those subtles phenomenons of energetic interactions converge to the guidances of many spiritual and philosophical currents, advising us to master our thoughts.

It is about remembering our personal responsibility, realizing the power we do have, in order to master it in the best way.

It is the personal power.


July 2018, Friday the 13th

Thank you, my body.

I propose you to guide you in a meditation meanwhile we're going to thank, love and feel amazed of our body.

This physical body, our soul's vehicle, we've blamed when it was not working as we wished. This body, subject of inner conflicts when we feel a shift between what it displays from us to the world and what we truly are. This body, source of excessive attachment because of the possibilities of pleasure it gives.

Are we in a healthy relationship with our body? Are we not prone to forget it?

Remember this body is a wonderful gift, a permanent celebration of active, living cells, a divine love densification which enables us to create and manifest ourselves in the world.

Let's take some time together to give it the attention, gratitude and love it deserves during this thirty minutes meditation. You can use this meditation as well to get asleep relaxed and in good vibrations. Put your mobile on plane mode, find a comfortable place facilitating relaxation and let's go.


July 2018, the 1st

Energetical portal 1711

To all of you who are on the path of liberation, those latest weeks have been particularly intense... Rejoice yourselves!

Those fears, tensions, angers that came up are finally harmonizing themselves.

As the chaos is ordered, we're getting back the parts of ourselves we've been rejecting. Barreers are collapsed, veils are lifted and we are surprising ourselves not been affected anymore by former causes of deep awkwardness.

If you feel like the end of this process is not close, let everything go. Drop your weapons. Surrender yourself to the source, the creator, to the perfect flow of life. Your efforts and struggles are the origin of this discomfort. Letting you float, you're travelling to plenitude. And if you're panicing, if you believe you're going to drown, contact me, I'll send you a rubber ring ;-)


May 2018 13th

The benefits of prayer

Cultivate good intentions and focus our attention, this is the exercise of prayer.

Prayer can be occasional and spontaneous or be inscribed in the regularity of a daily recollection.

Recollect ourselves with joy, allow ourselves a time of silence, a time of kind attentiveness to our inner self and of reconnection to our seed, to this source which is in everything, and take time to talk to it.

Prayer can be experienced out loud or recited internally, then, its echo will be different. Take time to feel the space filled by your prayer, palpate it in the following silence, where it reveals its print.

Those words can be from the instant, or had been chanted by many pilgrims since the dawn of time.

A time dedicated to the connection to the divine that, if regularly practiced, invites us to observe the fluctuations of our consciousness quality and presence, as well as our capability to maintain a state of mental stability. Discipline involves those variations' tolerance and the capability to find the way back to the perfect presence.

The decision of the prayer's addressee is up to each one. No matter if that's to your soul, to the creator or one of his emanations, or if it will be one same prayer's repetition or a prayer coming at one time.

​A prayer motivated by love is always heard.

Repeated and extended recitation prints the prayer deeper and deeper within ourselves.

Like a deeply engraved tatoo within our soul, it infuses its vibration in our being and resonates silently.

Texts experienced by various faiths can call you, or lead you to a certain direction, or to the right words. It can be an inspiring base to create your own personal prayer.

I'm glad to share with you my personal practice of the 21 homages to Tara, as a video for recitation and as a pdf for text.

Green Tara is the female Buddha of compassion, the swift pacifier, the great liberator.

Her 21 emanations are as many forms representing her differents attributes.

Wish you a pleasant prayer's time.


April 2018 26th

About cheating

Today, two different persons contacted me about the same subject, meaning that's the good time to talk about it. Subject is infidelity in love relationship.

Those two practical cases are about a man who has cheated. However, it could be about a woman as we all have both polarities.

Those cases brought us to the subject of mistake and weakness. Here about man's weakness but more widely about human being's weakness in managing its vital energy.

Our vital energy is our sexual energy, that's the association our societies have done for a very long time. We've associated this vital energy to reproduction, to copulation and that's right. That's actually this energy which enables the creation of a new human life, but not only.

This energy enables the creation of all types of life, the gift of birth, to our ideas and projects. This creative energy can be dedicated to every types of expansion, development, to every creative manifestation, not only sexuality. Nevertheless, since always, we've been taught this energy's agitation was sex, sensual desire. We did this association. Consequently, we do have huge difficulties in managing this energy in the right way. This energy, that's what yogis call kundalini. And it's so awkward to manage that there's a yoga dedicated to it. Indeed, this energy is very powerful and not so easy to manage on a daily basis, mostly when it's agitated.

If you're a man, yes, certains persons of the opposite sex (or same sex if you're homosexual) can wake this energy up within you, this agitation. And if you're a woman, that's the same.

This agitation we can't calm down, which disturb our well-being state, we'll try to restrain it as we can. There are many ways to control it. If you're aware of all this, you can train yourself to make it come up in your own body, to let it spread inside you as its nature is the life itself which animates all of us. Furthermore, it's a incredibly powerful healing energy. You can as well release it through a sport activity or inject it in any project or activity you like.

However, our conditionings translate our vital force's agitation into a lack of sex, which is nothing more than a lack of love transposition. A lack of love for ourselves. We don't love ourselves enough. We need an outter recognition of love. Here as well, our societies have built a sex and love association, while there are objectively many people we love and don't have sex with, like our friends and family. We do not need sex to love and feel loved, it's a fake need.

So, coming back to today's subject, infidelity.

For the cheated one, it will resonate with his/her injuries of treason, humiliation, rejection of abndonment depending on his/her personal story. For him/her, everything collapse. There's anger towards the other one of course, but also towards himself/herself of not believing himself/herself sufficient or able to satisfy the partner's needs.

If you're cheated, forget this belief right now! It has nothing to do with you. The one who will cheat is just desperately trying to fill a lack of love for himself/herself and to calm down his/her vital energy's agitation. It is his/her inherent responsibility.

What about the one who cheats? In the both cases I've been told today, this person decided to talk about it to the other one. That's a good thing. We could discuss about the fact that remaining silent would save the partner from suffering, that to talk is just a way to alleviate the cheater's guilt.

However, it requires courage to admit a mistake. It is choosing the party of making the one we love suffer, in order to be true and honnest to him/her. It's to offer the gift of truth, to dare to show our weakness in broad daylight, taking the risk of losing his/her love by letting him/her holding all the cards. Then, the cheated will decide to accept it, to forgive, or not.

Let's dig a little bit further in this cheating process understanding. Behing the need of recognition, the physical pleasure's need, more or less associated to the undergoing need of love, there's a lot of fear and certainly the belief that we're not good enough. I'm not a good person and I'm not strong enough to be faithful as expected by my partner. I don't believe in me so, I make mistakes. I prove to myself I'm right of not believing in me. Yes, I'm weak. Yes, I make a mistake. Yes, I've not been able to say no and to master this agitation within me.

Then, for the cheater as for the cheated, there's no obligation to forgive. We are no saints, it's useless to put pressure on yourselves. You have the right to be angry towards the other one and/or yourself. You have the right to feel destroyed or sad. Don't fight against this. There's no guilt to have regarding those feelings. Forgiveness is not mandatory, even if it's salutary for the other one and mostly for yourself. Indeed, there's no rush. Don't add any additional pressure or guilt. Of course, no one like to be angry or sad, we don't like that! But we have the right of it. If it's going through us at one moment, we have the right to live it. You'll even certainly have to go through this, until your anger and sorrow ressources are drained, or until you're so fed-up with this anger and sorrow experience that you're able to go forward.

This is it. Here are the thoughts coming spontaneously about this subject. I hope it will bring you some helpful keys.

Take care of yourselves.



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